Was it worth it?
I still don't know.
There's a version of the startup story where you trade a normal job for freedom, work hard, and eventually make the sacrifice make sense. It's a good story. It leaves out most of the time you actually spend building.
Most of It Is the Flatline
The beginning gets plenty of attention. Early users. New ideas. The feeling that something is happening.
Then there's the stretch where the novelty wears off and you still have to show up. The Trough of Sorrow. Motivation gets harder to find. Progress is harder to see. The sacrifices keep accumulating whether or not the company is moving.
That's the part I wish we talked about more honestly.
Know What You're Signing Up For
When younger founders ask me for advice, I come back to the difference between a business and a startup.
A business can be built to sustain itself. A venture-backed startup takes on a different set of expectations. You're working with money and time that will run out, trying to make enough progress before they do.
Raising capital doesn't remove that pressure. It makes the commitment real.
I don't think that makes it the wrong choice. I do think it's worth understanding before treating it as the obvious next step.
What Gets Traded
Some of the cost is easy to name:
- Friendships
- Relationships
- Mental bandwidth
- Plans I thought I'd have time for, including my post-grad trip to Thailand
The harder part is how quietly it happens. There isn't always a moment where you sit down and decide what you're willing to give up. You just keep choosing the company.
As Fullmetal Alchemist put it:
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return."
That line stays with me. So far, I've given up more than I've gained, for what feels like a 10% shot at building something that lasts.
No Clean Answer Yet
I care about what I'm building. I also care about what it costs.
Both can be true. I don't want to pretend every sacrifice is noble just because it happened for a startup. And I don't want to dismiss the work because the outcome is still uncertain.
If you're somewhere in that flatline, I don't have an ending to offer you. I'm still in it too.
That's the paradox for me. Being committed to something without yet knowing whether the trade was worth it.