The title makes this sound more transactional than I think it is.
Read it as a collection of tricks for getting people to like you and you miss the part that matters: actually being interested in them.
People can be interesting without being useful to you.
Who Cares Who Gets Credit?
One of my biggest takeaways is ego management.
If an idea moves things forward, who cares whose idea it was? That sounds obvious until you're the one who has to let go of the credit.
The same goes for being the smartest person in the room. I'd rather be around people who see things I don't. But that only works if I spend enough time listening to hear them.
Carnegie's advice is simple. Practicing it requires paying attention to someone other than yourself.
Liked Isn't the Same as Respected
This is the tension I find most relevant to building with people.
You want good relationships. You also need to be able to disagree, give honest feedback, and say something that might not be popular.
I don't read this book as an argument for avoiding every uncomfortable conversation. I read it as a reminder that understanding someone should come before trying to persuade them.
Ask a real question. Let them finish. Understand what matters to them before explaining what matters to you.
None of that feels manipulative to me. Going through the motions without caring would.
Worth reading, especially if your instinct is to talk your way through every problem.